blog about a blog

roller chester is my god

the important part shows

nataliedee.com
maybe i'll fix it later

suffering from infatuation

I'm going to miss the rain

What does it mean to be in and to fall in love? Who actually qualifies as the one your in love with? The one who you miss? The one you’re jealous of? The one you clean up after? The boy making funny faces at me from across the library?
I’ve been with the same person for two years and already it feels like we are an old married couple. I use to want the relationship that I’m in; a stable, comfortable relationship. All of that has changed though and I guess I don’t know what I want anymore. Which makes it hard for my mate since he feels he must change to better suit my needs. I really don’t know what those needs are though, honestly I don’t.
I look back and am a little sad. Maybe I’ve missed my chance at something else. Maybe that is why I’m feeling this way. Maybe I just want what’s just out of my reach and everyday it gets a little further until it completely disappears from sight.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my boyfriend. I absolutely adore him. He’s probably more than I deserve. Without him I don’t know what I would do, especially in Humboldt which is just not the place for me. I just wonder why I am so lonely.
Maybe I’m just in a funk. Maybe I want too much or maybe I just need to know what I need. I’m not searching for love like in the movies. I’m searching for happiness. Sometimes love isn’t all you need. People accuse me of being selfish for such a goal but I feel it would be nice to find happiness and share it with someone.

And recently I've made a new friend and it already seems like we've know each other much longer than a few days. All of a sudden I find myself wishing I could stay just another week or so but I know I don't want to stay here. Relationships are fickle even if they are just the kind for friends and it would seem silly to stay for that. I'm sure he'll get tired of me before the week is through anyway. I find myself excited about going home and being able to start working again and seeing my friends but i already i begin to feel nostalgic.

i wish i had the funds to make vegan cheesecake. i really want it right now. whenever i do have the time/money it always seems to be gone before i get the chance to have a piece. i guess that's what i get for living with two boys.
i think i'll spend most of my day in the library today, working on finals and such. i really want to practice cello today.
i don't even know what i'm talking about. just rambling i guess

well we did just get mario cart wii

enough said

I found a new place to waste my time check it out

for all the snobs out there this one is for you. I came across this site today through a link from fetch dog. I actually think it's pretty funny and if you know, or think you know, your stuff it is. They have sections on music snobbery, film snobbery, and food snobbery. Mostly it takes whacks on people who think they are snobs like mentioning Juno and the "scene in which Jason Bateman’s 40-ish yuppie character communes with young Juno (Ellen Page) by playfully arguing over the merits of Herschell Gordon Lewis versus those of Dario Argento. The concept isn’t bad, but the scene is about as believable as the name Diablo Cody." They also have stuff like Five songs that sound like they ought to be sung by the muppets

PSA

a tool

so i feel like such a tool but i still can't help loving Shepard Fairey, the artist behind Obey. Does it really make me a sell out if i like a sell-out's art...hmmm...i'm having an internal conflict right now. although maybe it's just the stencil and colour style that i like. he does use most of my favorite colour combinations...maybe that's it. I did see a sweet bottle of wine the other day with this style label although i think it would be more appropriate for vodka, maybe.




but at least i still like Kawsone so that makes me mildly legit right?


my roommate's boyfriend is sleeping in her bed right now and snoring...kind of annoying since she's not even here

my future children

don't ask me how i'm going to end up with a Korean baby, I'll figure that one out later.

mano negra

I am the creator/editor of a zine called Mano Negra in Humboldt County, Ca. We use to have a pretty good circulation going around campuses and the like but we (all of the writers and I) have recently fallen apart.
The original purpose for my zine was to get radical people involved in writing and sharing their knowledge or the "real world" as we like to call it. Needless to say, the writers had different ideas. So the zine became a compilation of 6-8 of us, mostly girls, who wrote on a singular topic and how it related to our lives. This was actually part of my original idea but then topics people wanted to write on became less and less radical until we just started to rant, which is fine but it's not what i wanted out of my zine.
Classes made us drift a little as the semester ended and it got harder and harder for us to meet, for a while they actually had to meet without me but we were still able to come up with our February issue, our 4th issue, but our designated printer never got around to sending us copies so that we could print. It's all but a memory now but i remember and want my original plan to come to life.

one more and then i'm done

i don't know how i found jerry time but now i have a new past time...wow lame use of words there

my new boyfriend

watch out

or Dihydrogen Monoxide will get you.
read it? you don't get it? think about it real hard.

my holiday

has been spent on catching up on ANTM via youtube, a small (very small) work out, looking up places in SF, sewing my jeans, and general nothingness.

so my new find (thanks to Tiff) is stuff white people like.
my favorites being apple, bicycles, and, well it's all pretty funny especially coming from orange county and being around people who are actually like that.


I gave a little research to Mathangi Arulpragasam (M.I.A.) since I've only heard a couple of her songs and there's all this hype about her. Sean first introduced her to Ivan and I circa 2006? i think but now everyone is like OMG M.I.A.
So here's the scoop on her. Born in England to a Tamil activist-turned militant, she moved back to Sri Lanka when she was 6 months old. To make a long story short she, her mother and siblings had to move frequently trying to avoid the civil war/ethnic conflict with little contact from her father who was obviously involved in the struggle. Finally they ended up back in the UK as refugees. Now 11 she started to learn English and first heard Western radio from her neighbor's flats in London. She started off as an artist and designed an album cover for Elastica and went on tour with them and Peaches where she was encouraged to become a musician and the rest is history as they say.

like her because she's legit and sings about real issues. any violence in her music is about civil war, guerilla warfare, etc, not some glorified graphic sent out for shock value, if you can call that shocking anymore.

she grows on you



I think she looks like Daniel's girlfriend, Roxy and no it's not the hair

oh and ps this story isn't actually true. it's a segment called the best story ever on a canadian political news show called the hour. People usually just tell fake stories, and it's supposed to be obvious. Tom green told a story about how he almost bled to death with his ribs sticking out and he was bleeding in the bathroom for fifteen minutes.

don't you wish you're car insurance were as cheap as you are

I know i do

who does she think she's kidding

does anyone know what significantly higher fasting plasma triacylglycerol values do to your body? it promotes cardiovascular disease (particularly in men). that's what HFCS does to you. Studies done actually have suggested that fructose does increase obesity. Large quantities of fructose stimulate the liver to produce triglycerides, promotes glycation of proteins and induces insulin resistance. According to one study, the average American consumes nearly 70 pounds of HFCS per annum, marking HFCS as a major contributor to the rising rates of obesity in the last generation.
fructose is more readily converted to fat by your liver than is sucrose, increasing the levels of fat in your bloodstream and also contributes to high cholesterol and diabetes. I can't believe that people would believe her.

i found the review...There Will Be Blood

i wrote this back in february and since i've had requests for it...here

There Will Be Blood seems to follow the new cinematic craze of long silences, small hints of a soundtrack and cinematography that is reminiscent of early film noir classics. This, Paul Thomas Anderson accomplishes flawlessly and unlike No Country For Old Men you won’t find yourself glancing at your watch to check the time. Based on Upton Sinclair’s Oil!, There Will Be Blood takes us from the American dream to an American nightmare. It is a film that tells the classic story of greed, envy, and damnation in biblical proportions. We meet Daniel Plainview who finds his personal heaven and hell in an Old Testament town full of New Testament evangelicalism. His only two enemies, mankind and God, never let him rest. Daniel Day-Lewis’s performance leaves nothing for the asking as the man who holds competition at his breast.
With a tangle of relationships there is enough plot aside from murderous greed to keep the story going. The relationships circle around fathers, sons, and brothers with little on-screen time for women so don’t look for any romance. There aren’t unrealistic ideals here.
However, the bond between Plainview and H.W. (Dillon Freasier) raises the stakes enough to give the emotional strength required.
We see Plainview and are constantly reminded by brimstone and flame, created by oil wells, of where he stands in this world.
The only note to make is Paul Dano’s characters, Eli and Paul Sunday, who are in fact brothers but it confuses some thinking that they are in fact the same person. Originally Dano was only cast as Paul but when the original actor for Eli fell through Dano was brought in. It was too late to reshoot the scene with Paul Sunday so they were made twins. The fact that Dano so thoroughly convinces us of Eli’s psychopathic nature is what primarily convinces us that they could be one in the same.
While initially the film may seem slow just wait, let it engulf you and you will sucked right in like Eli’s followers at a sermon. Sound is crucial, even in its absence but when the soundtrack comes int it is nothing less than perfect. Let Day-Lewis’ reverberating tone pull you in with its charming wolfish perversity. You will follow him as he reaches Little Boston and finds a whole sea waiting just for this oilman. It seems so easy until Eli Sunday throws Plainview’s second enemy, religion, on the doorstep with impish ferocity.
H.W., the infant he adopts when the boy’s father dies in Plainview’s first accident in an oil well. H.W. is the closest he gets to true love even if he does exploit H.W.’s boyish charm and family values. When H.W. goes deaf Plainview is heartbroken, but not openly, and never forgives himself as his once partner and companion becomes standoffish, suspicious, and jealous. The heartbreak lasts until the end, both that of Plainview and H.W. The chemistry between the actors brings that side to it when easily we could have forgotten Plainview’s love, which makes him human. That is why we love Plainview. Even if he seems a heartless killer, a ravenous miser, he is capable of love and to us that gives him light. It gives us more than just horrified fascination.
In the final scene Plainview takes final revenge on both man and God with a charge of blistering violence. With biblical exultation Plainview utters, “I’m finished.” It just about leaves you breathless.
Lovers of a sugar coated sweet story will hate this film. If you have no sense of adventure, don’t even bother. But then again, if you were looking for that you’d probably dislike me as well.